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Beware the Giant Safety Pin: Killer Workout (1986) Review

In 1986, a new breed of slasher emerged. Long gone are the slashers to be taken seriously; say hello to the fun slashers! Apparently sometime during 1985, when the sub-genre had really lost its sense of creativity and originality, a genius (who has yet to be named) decided that slashers weren't scaring people anymore. So, instead of trying to be scary (and often times ending up as boring if the scares didn't work), he/she took the genre in an entirely different route: Intentional zaniness! One film that was released during this light-hearted period was Killer Workout. It's a very little known slasher that should be brought to the public's attention. Brace yourself, because we're about to do a...

Killer Workout 1986 Review The film starts out with a young woman finding out she's got a modeling job and is going to Paris. To get ready, she heads over to the local tanning salon. However, her tanning bed malfunctions and she's burned to a crisp in a scene that brings the tanning bed death scenes in Final Destination 3 to mind. So how do you follow a grisly scene like that? Cut to aerobics!

Rhonda's Workout is, as you can guess, a gym where people come to get into the best shape of their lives. However, a mysterious killer is offing the most beautiful bodies at the gym with...a giant safety pin? What's even more amazing is how buness never seems to tumble after all this, but that doesn't stop Rhonda from worrying about finances. An incompetent detective hunts for the killer, but who could it be? Is it Jimmy, the frustrated young man who is constantly rejected by Rhonda whenever he asks for a date? Or is it the mysterious Chuck, the new worker at the gym? Or could it be Rhonda herself? The body count rises, ulterior motives are revealed, and this workout turns out to be a real killer. Killer Workout takes a daring leap of faith by attempting to combine two 1980s fads that couldn't be any farther apart: Aerobics and slashers. Before I saw the film, I didn't think there was any way that they could pull this off. I mean, think about it. Aerobics and slashers. In the same movie. I'm not talking about one scene with aerobics; I'm talking like 45% aerobics and 55% slasher. I knew it just wasn't going to happen. Not in this lifetime, anyway, I thought. Well, I was half right. Killer Workout is awful. But it's so unbelievably cheesy, you can't help but really like it! Extremely random kung-fu fights break out for no reason. The murderer's motive is unbelievably ridiculous. The killer uses a giant safety pin to kill his victims. While that's ridiculous on its own, what's even more hilarious is how everyone seems so defenseless against this 5-inch long weapon which could ealy be plucked out of the killer's hand. These de-splitting elements get mixed into a fevered stew of nudity, leotards, and bad 1980s pop songs which all come together to form a seriously fun Saturday night viewing experience. Killer Workout has enough cornball acting to supply you until the next Mystery Science Theater 3000 set comes out, and some of the writing is truly poor. In fact, I feel Killer Workout is intentionally bad. I'm not joking; I've read other reviews that say the same thing. I really can't see director David A. Prior treating this as a serious slasher movie. While it isn't too bloody and the kills aren't too creative (bedes the absurd safety pin), I still enjoy this movie a whole lot. It's never boring, the kills will definitely squeeze a chuckle out of you, there's more T&A than you can shake a stick at, and it's just a really bizarre and entertaining way to spend 90-minutes of your life. So flex your suspenon of disbelief and get ready for one great Killer Workout.
ObscureCinema101 Saturday 8/06/2011 at 08:43 PM | 80145
Are there legwarmers? Please tell me there are legwarmers.
dew Saturday 8/06/2011 at 11:29 PM | 80152
Are there legwarmers? Please tell me there are legwarmers. Oh yes, there are more legwarmers than you can posbly imagine.
ObscureCinema101 Sunday 8/07/2011 at 12:23 AM | 80155
*SWOON*! It's as thought they took everything about the 80's and crammed it into one movie. And got someone to massacre it <3
dew Sunday 8/07/2011 at 02:12 AM | 80163