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Monster Dog is a Monster Dog! Review

Never in the history of horror films has a movie title fit a film so perfectly.

Monster Dog is a monster dog!

Monster Dog is an Italian horror film starring Alice Cooper as a rock star who is returning to his creepy castle home to shoot a muc video for his new song.

As he and his entourage arrive they find that there has been some strange murders that reflect murders committed long ago have been going on.

The culprit?

A werewolf.Not just any werewolf though, one that can control the local K-9 population.

As the bodies pile up the survivors soon are led to believe that Vince (Alice Cooper) is the monster that is caung all of the death.

This film has everything that a good horror movie should have: A creepy atmosphere, a decent soundtrack, a werewolf, an interesting premise, and even a lynch mob.

So what goes wrong with this film?

All of the above!

The sound track (both songs of it) is done by Alice Cooper and is the only redeeming factor here.

The problem is that being an Italian horror film all of the actors/actresses, minus Alice, are Italian and probably spoke their native language.

I guess this because, again with the exception of Alice, everyone is voiced over.

By the same two people!

All of the guys have the exact same voice and and all of the girls have the exact same voice.

Another problem?

The monster itself!

The "werewolf"

is a hand puppet!

All you ever see of this thing is it's head and that is shown extremely fast so you don't have a chance to really see this thing.

This is a monster with no body!

Plus, almost everyone in this film is stupid!

Everyone, Alice Cooper's entourage encluded, believes that he is the werewolf.

Even though they have spent how many years with this nger and he has never sprouted rubber fangs and fur before and gone on a killing spree!

None of the characters are really fleshed out so you don't care two ways to Sunday about them and the only thing drawing a person to this film is Alice Cooper and the only reason you might care about him is because he's Alice Cooper.

The "scares" are so rediculous that they are laughable.I read in the biography booklet that came with the Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper box set that the only reason he agreed to do this film when he was on tour in Italy was that he was promised that it would never be released in the U.S.A.

It was and boy did it howl.

This is an older film so everything is done with poor man's process and there aren't any cheesy computer graphics.

One other note now that I think of it.

The director did try to put in a full body shot of the monster walking through the forest in the fog but if you really study the figure, it is just someone walking around in the fog wearing a long fur coat.

This is as far from a clasc as you can get so for my final diagnoses I give this miserable heap: 1/2* out of *****.

And the only reason it get's half is because of the two muc videos.

JohnCarpenterfan Monday 12/19/2011 at 09:33 PM | 88448